Addiction
by His Singer1
Summary: She's everything and yet she's not because she's not mine.She feeds my desire and fuels the lust and strengthens the attraction.I'm addicted and she's my addiction. her name is love.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when i have writers block for other stories.**

* * *

><p>She runs into my arms the moment I open the door and immediately her lips are on mine.<p>

Her kisses are like a searing fire that runs through my veins.

I feel it everywhere and I hold on never wanting to let go.

I've always felt like I can never get enough and wishing she would come back for me.

She feeds my desire and fuels the lust and strengthens the attraction.

She's everything and yet she's not because she's not mine.

She seems to want me and she tells me I make her feel good.

She never stays but always leaves and I'm left wondering if she'll come back.

She's not constant some days she's here and some days she's not.

Some days it's good and some it's bad and she's not all about the sex.

She talks and I listen and she listens while I talk.

She smiles and laughs and shows me beautiful things.

Those days I live for and the other I struggle to get through.

I'm told I shouldn't bother and I should let her go.

I'm told she's using me and she will never love me.

I wish I could quit her and when I think I can she come back like she never left.

I'm not strong enough to tell her no or push her away.

I know what we have is unhealthy and could end badly.

She could destroy me so easily but I'll always come back for more.

I'm addicted and she's my addiction.

Her name is love.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time I met her she was surrounded by a large crowd walking past me.

I stood by my locker getting my books for the next class already running late.

I was new to the school and bound to get lost a few times.

She walked past me laughing loudly and her brown curls bounced around her face.

She pushed her hair away and slowly turned towards me and we both stared.

My eyes went from her brown almond shaped eye to her legs below and felt myself stir I arousal.

She smiled after a bit and waved in my direction before moving on.

"Who is she?" I wondered aloud.

* * *

><p>The second time I met her was in English class and because I was new I sat in the very back of class.<p>

The teacher was droning on about course aims and what she expected of us when the door opened and she walked in.

Everyone shifted in their seats and some girls rolled their eyes while the guys stared unabashedly.

She showed the teacher a paper and begins to walk towards the back; I was too busy staring at her legs to notice where she was going until the legs stopped in front of me.

I looked up to see her staring at me quizzically and she smiled slightly before speaking.

"You're in my seat" she said in a gravelly voice.

* * *

><p>The third time I met her was at the local market in town, I was picking up some things for my aunt when I noticed her.<p>

It was her legs I saw first peeking out from a small skirt clad in tights, she was leaning against a counter reading magazine.

I was thinking how crazy it was that everywhere I go there she is when I heard a throat clear.

She was staring at me eyes narrowed and hands on her hips.

"Are you following me?"

"No" I answered defensively.

She moved closer with her arms crossed

"You were in the hallway at school then in my English class and now you're here, I don't even see my friends as much"

"No I'm not following you, you would have seen me around before"

She cocked her head to the side "right you must be the new kid"

"Edward" I said.

After that meeting with a big misunderstanding (she tried to get in my pants) she was friendlier to me and spoke to me every day.

She was confident and funny and very sexy.

She made me feel special.

Her name is Bella and I think I love her.


	3. Chapter 3

She became my only friend and would sit with me at lunch.

She would re tell stories of adventures she took.

I would sit there fascinated and watch her eyes.

She would tell me about her life, how her mom didn't want her and gave her away to her dad.

How her dad was hardly home and leaves her alone all the time.

She would tell me she liked me best of all the guys in the school.

She told me she loved my eye they were her favorite color.

Every day I would go home happier than before and my aunt and uncle would wonder.

She was all I could talk about and before long they knew about her.

They wanted to meet her but I didn't want to bring her here as a friend but more than that.

She told me she liked me best but she would hang with the other guys more than me.

I would hear rumors about what they got up to and try not to care.

She wasn't like that I thought because she was too perfect for that.

* * *

><p>One day I confronted her about the rumors and immediately regretted it.<p>

She was angry and told me to stay out of her business, I was her friend not her father.

I just wanted to know and because she didn't deny it I just knew.

There went my dreams of her one day becoming mine.

She wouldn't speak to me after that but I would constantly watch her from the corner of my eye every day.

Every movement of her I was aware of and I would go back to the market hoping to see her there.

She would star in every dream and every night I would sketch parts of her to memory.

She was becoming an obsession and Carlisle and esme became worried.

I told them why she wasn't speaking to me but they took the opposite side, they told me I should stay away because she was no good.

Esme tried to set me up on a date with our next door neighbor a shy girl named Angela who was in my English class also.

I was against the idea from the start but eventually I would talk to her each day and before long I decided I could like her.

She was shy and didn't talk much but she was a good listener, she would come over and we would work together and most times she stayed for dinner. Esme was happy but I wasn't doing this for her but for me, I would never fully get over Bella but Angela was a good friend to have.

* * *

><p>"So when will you ask her out?" Esme asked one day coming in my room while I sketched.<p>

"Because I don't want to, I'm not looking for a girlfriend" I answered as truthfully as I could.

"She's a nice girl" she stated coming to stand by me.

"I know and we would be better off friends" I answered wearily.

"Just try and see" she pleaded.

Esme was persistent so I asked Angela out and we went to the movies before grabbing a bite to eat, it turned out alright it was just like any other day with her. I only thought of her as a friend and turns out so did she but her parents talked her into this.

"I would like to see your drawings one day" she said shyly.

I wanted to immediately say no because they were private and most of them were of Bella, I wanted to keep it a secret but I thought I could sketch something else and show it to her so I agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

I still obsessed over Bella and hung on every breath she took and every word she said.

So many times I contemplated going to her and apologizing and asking her to be my fiend again.

It would come off as desperate and I hoped that one day she would come to her senses.

She still didn't speak to me until two days after my failed date with Angela.

I was sitting with Angela at lunch showing her the sketch I drew, it was a rose something she would like and she hugged me thanking me.

I hugged her back and looking over my shoulder I saw Bella glaring at me from her table, I looked at her ready to speak when she turned around and kissed the guy she was sitting next to.

I was shocked at first and then I felt sick as I saw she was fully into it, everyone else whooped and cheered but I got up quickly to leave as my heart broke with Angela following behind me.

"You really like her?" Angela asked quietly.

"That obvious?" I asked.

She shook her head "you know she wasn't this way before, I think it was a way to be noticed but she's completely changed"

I smiled sadly "it would never be that way anyway" I said closing the conversation.

Angela would never know the amount of my obsession and feelings just like Bella would never know and would never care.

* * *

><p>I would get over her slowly but would never forget.<p>

I sat in the back of English class dreading the moment she would walk through the doors.

I don't think I can face her after what I saw in the lunch room and I can't help but think if I kept my mouth shut maybe that could be me.

She walked in at last looking anywhere but me and I moved over to give her some room.

We had to do a group assignment with writing a poem of the feelings we felt in this exact moment or what was on our mind and criticizing our partner's poems.

I never wrote a poem in my life but I would try, it would be easy I knew what I felt.

I felt crushed and broken, I felt as if she had stepped on my heart with no care in the world.

I felt regret for confronting her and regret for what could have been.

I wrote my poem and looked over to see if she was done.

I was surprised to see her already looking my way and my heart skipped a beat.

It felt so long seeing her look my way.

"Are you finished?" I asked nervously.

"Why are you with her?" she asked instead.

"Who?" I asked utterly confused.

"Angela" she replied.

I was surprised she would think that.

"I'm not with her" I said.

She looked down "is it because she's not like me? You only go for really nice girls?" she asked bitterly.

"Why do you care?"

She glared "I don't care"

I sighed, this was the longest we e ever talked and she was talking to me on her own terms I didn't want to make her angry but I needed to know.

"Do you hate me because you think I see you different?" I asked wording it differently.

She laughed "I don't care what you think of me"

"Okay well I apologize anyway I never meant to hurt you, I was just curious and I don't think different of you" I said looking away.

She could hate me forever and I would still love her, if she wanted to be with different guys then it was all on her but I didn't think of her any less though I wished she knew she was better than that.

"No I'm sorry I thought you would like me less and then I see you with her and I was jealous" she whispered.

I was stunned from her confession and wanted to ask more but there was no need. She smiled cautiously at me and when I smiled back she squeezed my hand.

I didn't know what it meant but it felt like something.


End file.
